Hadith: The one who upholds ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him
عن عبد الله بن عمرو بن العاص رضي الله عنهما عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: «ليس الواصل بالمُكَافِئِ ، ولكنَّ الواصل الذي إذا قَطعت رحِمه وصَلَها». [صحيح] - [رواه البخاري] المزيــد ...
Abdullāh ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Ās (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The one who upholds ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives; rather, he is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.” Sahih/Authentic. - [Al-Bukhari]
Meaning of the statement: “The one who upholds ties of kinship is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives”; i.e. the person who perfectly maintains good relations with his relatives is not the one who repays their good treatment with like good treatment; rather, perfect maintenance of kinship ties means upholding those ties that one’s relatives severed, even if they abused him. If he meets their abuse with kindness, then he is truly one who upholds ties of kinship. A person should be patient with the harm he receives from his relatives, neighbors, friends, and others, and expect the reward for that from Allah. Allah will always give him support against their harm, and ultimately he is the winner and they are the losers. Kinship ties could be upheld through financial assistance, help to fulfill needs, removing harm, meeting them with a cheerful face, and supplicating Allah in their favor. In brief, it is to do all the good that one can do to them, and to ward off all the evil one can ward off from them according to his ability. Islam repeatedly emphasized upholding ties of kinship. ‘Abdul-Rahmān ibn ‘Awf reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) saying: “Allah, the Almighty, said: ‘I am Allah, and I am Ar-Rahmān (the All-Merciful). I created Ar-Rahem (the uterus, meaning kinship ties), and I gave it a name derived from my Name. So, whoever upholds it, I will uphold him, and whoever severs it, I will sever him.” Ar-Rahem (kinship) is a manifestation of Rahmah (mercy) and connected to it; so, the one who cuts it, is cut from the mercy of Allah. However, if someone cuts his ties of kinship to deter a relative (from committing sin) or as a precaution (to ward off evil), he is not considered a severer of kinship ties. An example is someone who sees benefit in cutting ties in the hope that his relative would return to the straight path and stop committing religious violations. Or someone who fears that he himself or his dependents might catch this contagious evil (of sinning) if he upholds ties with his relatives while they commit such violations.
Good deeds should be done sincerely for the sake of Allah, even if they do not result in immediate benefits in worldly life, for they yield permanent benefits in the Hereafter.
If a Muslim suffers an offense, this should not make him stop showing kindness to the offender.
Maintaining ties of kinship in the sight of Shariah is to remain in touch with those who sever them, to pardon those who wrong you, and to give those who deprive you rather than maintaining a relationship based on reciprocation and mutual benefit.
The Hadīth points out that maintaining kinship ties by way of returning kindness to the other party is a deficient way, for it is based on reciprocation of benefits, in which relatives and strangers are alike.
In dealing with one’s relatives, it is recommended to meet offense with kindness.