Hadith: Take from his money in a reasonable manner what suffices you and suffices your children

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ أُمِّ المؤْمنينَ رَضيَ اللهُ عنها قَالَت:
دَخَلَتْ هِنْدٌ بِنْتُ عُتْبَةَ امْرَأَةُ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَقَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، إِنَّ أَبَا سُفْيَانَ رَجُلٌ شَحِيحٌ، لَا يُعْطِينِي مِنَ النَّفَقَةِ مَا يَكْفِينِي وَيَكْفِي بَنِيَّ إِلَّا مَا أَخَذْتُ مِنْ مَالِهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمِهِ، فَهَلْ عَلَيَّ فِي ذَلِكَ مِنْ جُنَاحٍ؟ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «خُذِي مِنْ مَالِهِ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مَا يَكْفِيكِ وَيَكْفِي بَنِيكِ».
[صحيح] - [متفق عليه] - [صحيح مسلم: 1714]

‘Ā’ishah, Mother of the Believers, (may Allah be pleased with her) reported:
Hind bint ‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyān, entered upon the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyān is a stingy man. He does not give me provision that is sufficient for me and my children except that which I take from his money without his knowledge. Is there any blame upon me for doing so? The Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Take from his money in a reasonable manner what suffices you and suffices your children."
[Authentic hadith] - [Narrated by Bukhari & Muslim] - [Sahih Muslim - 1714]

Explanation

Hind bint ‘Utbah (may Allah be pleased with her) sought the Prophet's advice regarding her husband, Abu Sufyān (may Allah be pleased with him), who was miserly and very protective of his wealth. He did not provide for her what was enough for herself and her children, except that she secretly took from his money without his knowledge. She asked if there was any sin upon her for doing so. He (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: Take from his wealth for yourself and your children the amount that is commonly known to be sufficient, even without his knowledge.

Benefits from the Hadith

1. It is obligatory to provide for one's wife and children.
2. Ibn Hajar said: The meaning of his statement: "Take from his money what is sufficient for you in a reasonable manner," is that he referred her to the customary practice in matters where there is no legal specification.
3. Ibn Hajar said: This Hadīth is used as evidence for the permissibility of mentioning something about a person that he would not like if it is done for the purpose of seeking legal opinion, complaining, or similar reasons. This is one of the situations in which backbiting is allowed.
4. Al-Qurtubi said: Hind did not mean to describe Abu Sufyān as being miserly in all of his states; rather, she described her situation with him, that he was stingy with her and her children. This does not necessarily imply overall miserliness, as many leaders do this with their families while favoring foreigners to win their favor.