Hadith: Some of you would whip your wives as if they were slaves and then have intercourse with them at the end of the day

عن عبد الله بن زمعة رضي الله عنه أنّه سمع النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يخطب، وذكر الناقة والذي عقرها، فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : «إذِ انبَعَثَ أشقاها: انْبَعَثَ لَهَا رجل عزِيز، عَارِم منيع في رَهطِه»، ثم ذكر النساء، فوعظ فيهنَّ، فقال: «يَعمِد أحدكم فيجلد امرأته جلد العبد، فلعلَّه يُضَاجِعُهَا من آخر يومه» ثمَّ وعظهم فِي ضَحِكِهم من الضَّرطَة، وقال: «لم يضحك أحدكم ممَّا يفعل؟!».
[صحيح] - [متفق عليه]

‘Abdullāh ibn Zam‘ah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that he heard the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) deliver a sermon when he mentioned the she-camel and the man who had slain it. Thereupon, the Messenger of Allah (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said: "When the most wretched of them was sent forth, a man who was unique (in the bad sense), wicked and strong among his people, rushed to kill it." Then, he mentioned women and advised regarding them and said: "Some of you would whip your wives as if they were slaves and then have intercourse with them at the end of the day." Then, he warned them against laughing at the act of passing wind, saying: "Why should any of you laugh at another doing what he does himself?"
[Authentic hadith] - [Narrated by Bukhari & Muslim]

Explanation

‘Abdullāh ibn Zam‘ah (may Allah be pleased with him) mentions that he heard the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) deliver a sermon from above his camel. This is because it was from the Prophet's guidance not to overburden himself. He would thus not request something that was not available, nor would he reject something that was available, as long as this would not entail negligence or exaggeration in the Shariah. The Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) was giving the sermon, and ‘Abdullāh ibn Zam‘ah heard him. He heard him mention the she-camel, which was the miracle of Prophet Sālih (Methusaleh) (peace be upon him). He also mentioned the one who had slain it, whose name was Qudhār, and he was the most wretched among his people. He made mention of some of his descriptions saying that he was unique (in the bad sense of the word) and extremely corrupt and that he enjoyed a high status among his people. Then, the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) said during his sermon: "Some of you would whip their wives as if they were slaves." This indicates harsh disciplining. The context of the Hadīth indicates the improbability of these two being done by a rational person, i.e. that he would beat his wife severely and then have sexual intercourse with her the same day or night. This is because sexual intercourse normally requires a desire for companionship, love, and affection, whereas the one who is whipped normally shuns the one who whipped him. So, the dispraise of this type of action was pointed out here. If beating is necessary, it should be a gentle beating that does not cause complete repulsion, so one should not exceed the proper limits in both beating and disciplining. Then, he warned them against laughing at the act of passing wind because it is against good manners and because it entails exposing other people. Out of criticism for such an attitude, he said: "Why should any of you laugh at another doing what he does himself?" This is because laughing is normally caused by something strange or astonishing that lead to smiling. If the smile gets stronger and is accompanied by a sound, it will be considered laughter, and if it becomes even stronger than that, it will be called a guffaw. Since passing wind normally happens to all people, then what is the reason for laughing at the one who passes wind?