Hadith: Do not weep for my brother after this day

عن عبد الله بن جعفر رضي الله عنهما : أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أمهل آل جعفر ثلاثا، ثم أتاهم، فقال: «لا تبكوا على أخي بعد اليوم» ثم قال: «ادعوا لي بني أخي» فجيء بنا كأننا أفْرُخٌ فقال: «ادعوا لي الحلاق» فأمره، فحلق رؤوسنا».
[صحيح] - [رواه أبو داود والنسائي الكبرى وأحمد]

‘Abdullāh ibn Ja‘far (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) gave the family of Ja‘far a three-days respite. He then came to them and said: "Do not weep for my brother after this day." He then said: "Call for me the children of my brother." We were brought over to him as if we were (bereft) chicks. Then he said: "Call for me a barber." He then ordered him to shave our heads.
[Authentic hadith] - [An-Nasaa’i - Narrated by Abu Daoud - Narrated by Ahmad]

Explanation

Meaning of the Hadīth: The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) gave the family of Ja‘far ibn Abu Tālib three days as respite after his martyrdom in the battle of Mu'tah. The Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) wanted his family to feel better during these three days and get over some of the sadness and grief they were experiencing. He then said to them: “Do not weep for my brother after this day”. He forbade them from crying after three days had passed, so that the first shock and the sad times would not remain for long. The prohibition here is not a strict one, because it is permissible to weep for the dead even beyond the three days as long as weeping does not involve any forbidden act. He then said: “Call my brother’s sons for me.” They were Muhammad, ‘Abdullāh, and ‘Awf - children of Ja‘far. ‘Abdullāh said: "We were then brought to the Messenger of Allah as if we were little chicks" referring to the miserable state they were in due to their father’s death. The Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) asked for a barber and ordered him to shave their heads. The reason why the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) ordered for their heads to be shaved was that he saw their mother, Asmā' bint ‘Umays (may Allah be pleased with her) so overwhelmed by the calamity of having her husband killed in the cause of Allah, and thus she could not brush her children's hair. He feared that their heads would become dirty or infested with lice, so he ordered for their heads to be shaved. Removing the hair was good for the children and was a source of comfort for the mother who was afflicted with something that made her too busy to take care of her sons' hair. It should be noted that it is not permissible for the Muslim to shave one’s head due to the affliction of a calamity. It was reported in a Hadīth: "The Messenger (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) cursed the woman who wails, shaves her head, or tears up her clothes (when stricken by a calamity)." Heads of Ja‘far's sons were not shaved due to their father's death; rather, the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) did so because their mother was too busy to take care of their hair. Fearing that their heads would be louse-infested, the Prophet (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him) ordered their heads to be shaved. So, it had nothing to do with the calamity.